Martinis 27 October 2002Email Martinis
Harbor Avenue Online
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I'll BeHome ForChristmas
Florida's finest promise a comeback, but will they have a ticket?

photo by old man Pucci

End of October, the holiday clock is ticking, and one question remains: Will the Neighborhood finally host the Pucci brothers this christmas? Unfortunately, despite reassurances from Alex and Caesar, Martinis has no definitive answer. Although they've been seen off and on around Harbor Avenue as recently as two years ago, Mark and Mike Pucci have not been together in Swedetown since the middle 1990s. Spoiled by bad wire transfers, bogus money orders, and fake bank checks, past attempts at making it home have left fans empty. This year the guys have promised not to let the Neighborhood down. Rumors of an early December arrival date have even had gas station minimarts overstocking their cheap beer. But public opinion took a nosedive Thursday when Mark personally assured Martinis he'd be home for the holidays, saying he was just waiting on a credit card advance from 13th Street. When asked for comment, Martini said "People can do whatever they want, we'll be downstairs playin the 2600 listening to The Cars."

1st and Terry
Local chain gang member really Canadian
A couple of years ago, Terry Guerriero may have been seen playing bingo at the Vet's on a Friday night. These days Big T is barking "first down!" and setting the line of scrimmage during St. John football games. High school alumni and long-time supporter of St. John sports, Guerriero is the newest addition to the team's "chain gang." Players say they love Terry's zest for high school sports and claim his presence on the field is a big morale booster. What the guys didn't know was that Ter's full name is actually "Ontario Guerriero," after his paternal great great grandfather, a fisherman. Although the guys have been teasing him about Ashtabula's best kept secret, Terry swears he hasn't been hiding it. Guerriero says when he was a senior at St. John they used to call him "O.T." With his new job Ter plans to bring back the retired nickname in the true spirit of high school football. Guerriero admits it's difficult to be unbiased on the sidelines watching his favorite team. Ontario was recently discharged from a heated game after he made a Jefferson referee eat a meatball sandwich during a field goal attempt.

10. Terry's Tortillas
9. Terry's Tents
8. Terry's T-Ball
7. Terry's Tinsel (december only)
6. Terry's Tarts
5. Terry-ble's Tarot Cards
4. Terry's Dairy
3. Scary Terry's Magic Shop
2. Terry's on 2 (next to EAT's)
1. Don Tario's Hoagie Stand

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