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PLAY BALL!
Game Time 5:35
On the field, guys warm up for the evening game with star pitcher Mic Valentine.
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Mascot
Tasha, Get Out of the Way
After a day of chasing the UPS truck and leaving fur tumbleweeds blowing around the Neighborhood, Tasha fuels up so she can waddle over to the game and block the baseline.
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It's All in the Game
Neighborhood Kids Build Wiffleball Field
A new playing field was constructed this week as the Harbor Avenue gang set the enduring theme for the summer: wiffleball. Marty set the meeting time at 8am Saturday and got a great turnout with all the guys pitching in to create the coolest sports arena since Star Field. Located on the grounds adjacent to the Court, the nerve center of the entire Neighborhood, the field was first smoothened out with Ange's lawn roller, then cut low to meet regulation turf height. After carefully watering the grass with extension hoses from all directions, the kids measured out the bases, mound, and even sent Mike up Gray Drug's to buy some spray paint for the lines. "The kids really put their heads together" said Uncle Chuck, " . . . and it sounded like a bowling alley, those wackos!" Loaded wifflebats and lead-taped balls were the order of the day during last weekend's opening game. In the midst of all the hubbub, Dave walked over to inspect things and put one question to every sweated kid on the field: "You guys got jobs this summer?" Of course, the answer was "hell no, Dave;" no one's got jobs this year and we're lovin it. |
St. Angelo's Meats & Robbery
Drunks Uncover Crime in Ashtabula Plaza
Three Neighborhood rascals got more than they bargained for Friday when Mike Pucci, Marty, and Jay broke into St. Angelo's Meats & Deli to drink booze. After a hot, drunk evening walk up the hill, Mike MacGyver picked his grampa's back door lock with a paper clip and a Hershey bar. When they entered the kitchen, the unsuspecting kids found the freezer door wide open and a huge hole blasted through the wall connecting the store with rental giant, Colortyme. Observing a potentially dangerous situation, Marty quickly grabbed a butcher knife to investigate, but found the burglars had already left. Police reports indicate the theives tunneled through the deli wall to gain access to Colortyme's 600-pound safe, which they somehow transported out of the building and onto a lowboy waiting around back. Rumor has it former deli employee Jimmy Iranian is responsible for the crime and has fled the state with his accomplice, pie-maker Kathy Sardella. When the kids came home, wacko Patty was so upset about the wine on Mike's breath, she called her father home from Florida. At a conference at the Spot, Mike made clear he was just trying to disprove Iranian's claim that you can drink yourself sober. |
Wings and Jo-Jo Potatoes
Shortstop Drive-Thru Already Big Part of Summer
This summer, while the other dorks are busy with bullshit high school activities, the Swedetown gang has been heading up to the Shortstop for some real entertainment. On the menu at the Stop this year are wing-dings, mozzarella sticks, Peanut Butter M&Ms, and, of course, the famed Jo-Jo potatoes. Bacardi Breezers and Cherry-Strawberry pop are the beverages of choice and sit-down dining is available on the patio behind Albino's. The kids say it takes them a mere 10 minutes to get to the drive-thru from the Court using a new shortcut through the woods behind the ambulance station. Scott Fence says it looks like it could be a fun summer if Tommy Albino can stand the chicken bones on the grass and no one calls the State Liquor Board. |
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Stay tuned to Martinis for more coverage of the "summer that started it all."
Mystery Question Answer: Mad Dog 20/20
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