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Buff
RJ Big, But Black
RJ Valentic turned black this week when he ran into a Kiwi shoe polish truck on his way to a bodybuilding competition. Valentic said the 438 cans of Kiwi Dark Tan allowed him to be buff with no scuffs.
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REUNITED
Ter Meets Aunt, Uncle for First Time
Seen here in Borgetto, Sicily, Terry O meets his Aunt Girolama and Uncle Benedetto Orlando. For more photos visit the Gallery.
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All Big
Neighborhood Gets New Tough Guy
Bigger than life itself, RJ Valentic competed in the Cleveland Championships for Bodybuilding last week. He-Man said it took a lot to prepare for the contest, especially with the whole Neighborhood betting on him. "OOOooooh, I think we sent the BEST boy on the STREET!" said Aunt Anna. In an inside joke, Mike Pucci said RJ may or may not be back in demand depending on how much shlong-shrinking Miracle Gro he took during his training at Parason's. RJ won the first place trophy for biggest black guy on Giannell Avenue, as well as the Tom Savarise award for beer muscles. Despite the rankings, competition spectator Champ Massucci says that RJ "just thinks he's big." |
Finding Their Roots
Harbor Avenue Men Make Historic Pilgrimage to Fatherland
Dave Savarese and Terry Orlando will never forget where they came from after a recent journey that took them to the very towns in Sicily where their grandparents were born. The first stop was the village of Borgetto where Terry found the long lost brother and sister of his father Tony. Among the gifts from the Orlandos were ceramic tiles from Terry's grandfather's house and the original basket that grandfather Salvatore used to collect fruit. From there, Ter and Dave traveled to Vallelunga where they were blessed in the same church where their grandparents were married, and where Terry's mother was baptized. The church also provided birth records of the Santangelo family that revealed that Grampa St.Angelo was one of six children. Other highlights from the trip include Dave giving out five dollar bills, the majorettes of Vallelunga, and Joe the barber. Martinis gives special thanks to cousin Irene for her help in translating and apologizes for Dave nagging everybody about making pasta with fried scarola three times a day. Stay tuned to Martinis for more coverage of this landmark voyage to the old country. |
EAT's on 2
Highway Diner No Greasy Spoon
For some time now people have been raving about the soul food at a small Ohio truck stop. Although there is much debate over the actual location of the establishment, the diner is advertised with a sign on Route 2 that says "EAT." Those lucky enough to have found the place say they'll never go back to the Red Barn. "You might as well go to EAT's on 2," said Terry Guerriero, "They got the best milkshakes in Ohio." In fact, EAT's diner is listed as the number one budget restaurant in Let's Go Northeast Ohio and the number three cleanest toilet in Rick Steve's Ohio for Weirdos. So the next time your're stomach's growling on 90, don't rule out EAT's, East Ashtabula's choice in freeway cuisine. |
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Mystery Question Answer: Mike Peet, Back Left Corner
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