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Stretching Out
Milkman Always Limber
With hands poised on the back of his hips and belly out, Mark O demonstrates his stretching tic that he says "keeps him nimble."
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Due Spippoli
Martini Studies Under Italian Computer Pros
In Siena, Antonello and Mirko fight over who is a bigger spippolo (computer geek).
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Do the Dairy Dance
Orlando Stretching Ritual Deemed Hip
Ever wonder why Mark Orlando's always standing kicking his legs out, bending, and stretching while you're talking to him? You're not alone. At an accordion concert in Madora Serpico's driveway, Martinis correspondent Berl Sweeney took five minutes of Mark's time to ask him that very question. He found the answer to be simple: elasticity. Mark claims all the fidgeting is actually a carryover from 80s basketball at St. John. "Besides," said Mark, "it keeps me loose." Out the store, Mark's loosening up has the cashiers all hot and bothered. "We love to watch him wiggle while he deals with the Sealtest reps," said one girl, "It's like a cute little Dairy Dance." But it was one wiggle too many at Brother Rich's last week where Mark kicked his foot right through the wall while doing the Dairy. Dance or no dance, Rich has made clear that he expects some free ice cream from Conneaut and that he will be sending Mark a bill for the spackling job. |
TOP TEN MACHO FAMILY HUSBANDS
10. Mark Orlando (stretch)
9. Carl Saint (on Harley)
8. Stevie (stump)
7. Ron Orlando Sr. ($$$)
6. Brad Orlando (Route 45)
5. Mike Pucci (snoopy)
4. Ted (???)
3. Jeff Orlando (Mr. Mom)
2. Ange (bragiole)
1. PAT |
La Malfa South
¡Savariguez Clan Gears Up for Cinco de Mayo!
Jodi Sav and Donnie Daniels will tie the knot in May. Reports in from Georgia show the wedding date didn't displease Atlanta's favorite Cuban, Ron Savariguez, who will be holding a side party in celebration of the Latino holiday, Cinco de Mayo. Señor Ron says they are set to go in the Peach State with even more bells and whistles than La Malfa. "We've got more than harps and hand clappers," said Ron, "and Father Sam will marry them, of course." Rumor has it the ceremony will be a bit wild compared to the Mentor matrimony of last year. Jodi and Danny claim they don't mind doing things differently, but that they really prefer the kiss at the altar to lemon oil on the forehead. |
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Mystery Question Answer: To stimulate a female (to find out in what way, email Martini)
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