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Who the hell is this?

Who was the secret Santa at the christmas party at the Ashtabula Hotel in 1982?
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Happy Holidays
Christmas Brings Family Together
It was like old times this weekend as PAT and Patty toasted Mark's new novel at the Savarise christmas party.

Guerini Battlecry Coming Back
Seen here at a Neighborhood exhibit, Angela demonstrates the proper stance for the famous exclamation, "You BUTT!"

"Married" Christmas
Family Newlyweds Exchange Gifts
Aunt Loretta's back room was host this week to the family's first all-couples gift exchange. Of course, Martinis was right there to get the inside scoop on what the hell everybody got. Weirdest gift went to Swingin California Carl, who received a solid gold exhaust pipe penis warmer. Also in the strange category was a statue of a drunk Snoopy called "Mad Dog" that went to Mike and Leah Pucci. Karen and Jack's La Malfa doilies, although well liked by Loretta, were pretty much boring. Topping off the list were RJ and Jill with some sexy specialty pastas from Signatures, including Parason's famous Pasta Boobs. When asked what he made out of the whole thing, Joey Orlando said he'd have been there except that he never got to marry his true love because the parents absolutely would not allow it.
Food Fight
Jerry & Mark Throwing Donuts
There was ketchup on the walls Friday morning out at Orlando's Food King after Jerry and Mark O settled a heated argument with a shelf-clearing food fight. Sources close to Martinis have indicated the messy battle began after a remark Mark made to Jerry about Sandra reading too many cookbooks in the office. "There's only so many ways to make pasta and beans," said Mark, "Besides, Marge's pizza ain't even in there." The food fight, which encompassed everything from guavas to Colgate, lasted a whopping 45 minutes and emptied most of the produce section and deli. Bringing the whole deal to a halt was Joe O who slapped Jerry after being hit square in the face with a Nickel's glazed doughnut. At an emergency grocers conference, Tony O has invited all of Conneaut to come and try his pepperoni rolls at the "best delicatessen in northeast Ohio."

1. What's goin on?!
2. Forget it.
3. (Did you get the) son of a bitch?
4. Spread it Out
5. Hello (said like Squiggy)
6. Summer Breeze
7. Take a Shayy
9. Sign Here!

Old Scoop
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Mystery Question Answer:  Armando Santilli

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