|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Pucci Published
Irascible Writer Proves Public Wrong
Neighborhood poet Mark Pucci finally had his life's work published this week. The author says he's elated that his "ticket to easy street" came so early on.
 |
Aloha!
Norts Send Love from Honolulu
"Oh Ange! These islands look just like Harbor Avenue!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
RJ Engaged
Harbor Avenue Politician To Marry in Fitness Club
After a long and celebrated courtship, Neighborhood Senator RJ Valentic officially announced his engagement Wednesday. The bride-to-be, Jill Pantalone, says the senator's proposal came after some sudden shifts in the political agenda and took her completely by surprise. "RJ said he's going to put me on the ticket in Columbus," said Jill, "but I don't know if that means they'll call me first lady." Valentic, who went into hiding three months after meeting Jill, claims he felt himself getting caught up in the fast-paced dance club atmosphere at Martinis, and had to drop out of the crowd. RJ and Jill have decided to marry while doing aerobics at Premiere Fitness Club next July, with an adult reception immediately afterwards at Johnny's Variety. |
Lanes Looking Good
New B-Room Freshens Up St. A's
Duggie won $150 Friday night as St. Angelo's 30 Lanes kicked off their new season of Lunar Bowling. Reports in from Lanes correspondent Marty Smith say the new and improved bar room has really brought in some different clientele. "It's got some class now," said Big John, "you undershtand?" League sizes at St. A's are expected to double with the arrival of Saybrook restaurant guru, Alessandro, who will be moving his business into the bar at the far end of the alleys in December. Duggie, who cashed in on a $150 pull-tab ticket, said he loves the new layout, but doesn't understand why they won't cash any checks for him anymore. |
Hey Ralph!
Parmigian's Sayings Carry On
In the Neighborhood, no summer was complete without a visit to Ralph and Carmel's for a cold glass of ginger ale. As long as he lived on Harbor Avenue, Ralph mesmerized Neighborhood youngsters by waving at them, then cleverly Latin-izing their names when they yelled to him with a call and response technique, as in, "Hey RALPH! - Heeeyyyy, MARTINEZ!" or "Hey RALPH - Heeeyyy, MIGUEL!" A popular porch sitter and gardener, Parmigian continues to amaze Swedetown with the many sayings he left behind. "He was a helluva guy," said Martini, "he'd be up the Social Club, then see the evening off on his porch with a Marlboro and some good conversation." Aunt Anna, when asked for comment, said that she regrets Ralph being gone, but is glad the new occupant cut down that goofy tree that left all the white fluffy shit in her front yard. |
|
Want to find any story we've run since 1997? Get caught up with last week's headlines right here or search month by month in the Complete Scoop Archive.
Mystery Question Answer: Spider
MARTINIS: Contact Us | Guestbook | Complain about this Site
Copyright ©2000. Martini Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. Martini's Down Under and Martini's at the Pavilion are registered trademarks of Martini. Any reproduction, refabrication, or reduction of the content of MARTINIS is prohibited and may cause hemorrhoids, chronic fatigue, asthma, and broken arms.
|
|
|
|
