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Jay Vegas   Dancing AL   Joneses   Guestbook   Turkey  10 September 2000 
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Here's to Stevie
PAT Raises Glass for Nephew
Seen here at a wedding after-hours party, PAT toasts Steve & Erica's new marriage with a Genny white can.

Former Rock Star Enjoys Married Life
Teen sensation Mike Pucci says he really prefers a boozy cocktail on the Pavilion to being on stage all the time.

It's My Party
Angry Bride Throws Decorations at Reception
Everybody was "dressing Duggie" this week as Steve and Erica finally tied the knot. Although the bride and groom were a little broken up at the altar, they managed to get through Deacon Balish's "Rocky Road" sermon where he warned them about the hardships of married life. Topping off the reception was a heated argument between the bride and her mother that ended in all the decorations flying off the cake table. Other highlights from the party included Al's jewelry, Stacey James, and PAT. Lastly, because of 150º temperatures due to a broken cooling system, Racquet West says Stevie and Skane can have a couple of games on the house.
Voice of a Deli Man
Tony O's Smooth Talk Inherited
Never trust a man who talks out of the side of his mouth. That's how parents used to warn their kids about gangsters. Today, however, people have been pouring in to the deli up at Orlando's to listen to Tony, the second generation of side-mouth story tellers. For years, Tony has amazed folks with his cool, close-lipped way of using just a few words to say everything, as with his most famous, "Whatta ya say, Uncle Ter?" To be sure, this trait was inherited, but, to the surprise of many, not from Sam. The side-mouthed way of speaking actually comes from Emily, who spent years as a ventriloquist in some of Pennsylvania's hippest night clubs. "I'm old school Italian," said Em, "that's how we all talked." Made popular in the 1960s, the style of speaking became a trademark of many Italians, but was taken too far by Fox Davenoe and ended up sounding like a cat in heat. Emily says she hopes the skill will keep Tony's meat prices down and claims she never made Sam swear in church during the readings.
Ronnie Millionaire
Loaded Landlord on Cleaning Binge
Two stock boys were fired at the store this week when Ron O walked in on some sandy floors. The Lake Road supermarket tycoon says he couldn't get over how filthy the floors were just one hour before open. "There was sand all over the place," said Ron, "I sensed it before I even walked in." Luckily, Ron was able to grab Tony Sardine and completely mop the floors in time for the morning produce rush. "I found a couple of wheat pennies while mopping," said Tony, "but Ron snatched them right out of my hands." Ron says he will be sweeping the parking lot every morning this week if anyone wants to come out and help.

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Mystery Question Answer:  Jolly Fats Weehawkin Lutheran

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