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New Orlando
What Viagra Does for the Crow
Terry O was passing out cigars this week in celebration of his new baby girl, Martina. After hearing the news, Father Sam said he wants to start his new niece working out the store.
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Newlyweds
Martini Books Wedding
Brian and Kim said there couldn't have been a better place to tie the knot than the Pavilion last week.
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Summer Breeze
Pavilion Wedding Has People Talking
Everything came together last week at the Summer Breeze, the Pavilion's first wedding ceremony. Named for a Seals and Crofts tune from the early 70s, the party -- like the song -- was a big hit in the Neighborhood. Champagne and appetizers kicked off the celebration, but things really got underway when Martini offered the minister some 7 Crown and Coke at three in the afternoon. People were singing the Breeze and Duggie was snapping photos as Jay Vegas filmed what many are calling the icing on the cake to Summer 2000. All the commotion forced Martini to take a week off. "We all got caught in the Summer Breeze," explained the bar owner, "and some of us never came out." Newlyweds Brian and Kimberly said they felt lucky to have been able to book the Pavilion for such an event, but claimed they lost track of what was going on after smoking some More brand cigarettes. |
Duggie Released
Neighborhood EX-Con Let Loose
Wal-Mart security guard Douglas Savarise is out on parole this week after over a year in a Beechwood holding facility. Savarise was transferred to Cleveland when a malfunctioning thermostat caused a flood in an Ashtabula City cell last spring. The City had to rethink their floorplan after they hired Duggie to test the security at the new jail uptown. "There were a few holes at that location," explained Rug, "but they've plugged them up since I been there." Savarise says it's no coincidence his luck has improved after crossing paths with his spiritual counselor at the Summer Breeze last Saturday. Duggie fans anxious to see whether Rug will recapture his heyday can rest assured. The slippery Savarise says his course at Kent this fall, "Department Store Magic," is certain to bring back the days of the 929. Maaa-aaarty, I'm still in business! |
Bless Us O Lord
Sister Mary, Sister Roselle Upstaged During Benediction
Recently, reports still coming in from La Malfa have uncovered a kind of battle of benedictions at Karen's wedding two weeks back. Sources close to Martini indicate Father Samuel took over a dinner blessing right in the middle of some words from Sisters Mary Jo and Roselle. In a submitted statement, Sam claims he didn't shortchange the girls and that his intervention (divine or otherwise) was necessary. Martinis went right to the source for the scoop, but the good father just kept repeating the phrase "From thy bounty . . ." Stay tuned to Martinis next week for hot new scoop from the convent. |
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Want to find any story we've run since 1997? Get caught up with last week's headlines right here or search month by month in the Complete Scoop Archive.
Mystery Question Answer: Snoopy
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