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Just Married
Bride Hammered in Hotel
Karen Sav got buttered before walking down the aisle Friday, but her mother refused to let her wear those underpants on her head.
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Skyed Up
Funny Cigarettes Key for Kathy & Jimmy
Despite a toned down mood at La Malfa, Kathy O and Jimmy Saint had a hell of a time gettin all skyyyed up.
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La Malfa Tamed
Everybody Relaxed at Reception
It was a subdued evening Friday at La Malfa party center as Karen and Jack celebrated their new marriage. Flippo Duggie had a hangover from the night before and did not put on a show like everyone had hoped, but RJ Valentic did manage to catch the bouquet. Highlights of the evening included Jack wearing a sombrero on his head, Ron O dancing the drunken Hokey Pokey, and Tony Orlando's Strohman Bread guy story. Things didn't go so well for Secret Agent Mike Laurello, whose cover was blown when someone spotted him talking into his shoe while smoking cigarettes and drinking Manhattans. In a statement to Martinis, Karen wishes to thank Joe Orlando for the Golden Dawn tickets to Aruba and says she is elated to finally eat something. |
Mandy & Randy
Vacant Bedroom New Home for Critter
Mandy O is busy redecorating her old roommate's bedroom this week in preparation for its new occupant, the Critter. Manda says the room, formerly occupied by Angela, will make a perfect environment for Critter and isn't concerned with the waterfall soaking the carpet. "Me and Randy are just gonna tear the roof off so she can have some real weather in summer," said Mandy. The Kent couple says they plan to visit Angela every weekend at her new penthouse in Chicago right after they finish paying the cleanup bill to La Malfa for Randy's accident in the parking lot. |
Little Billy Leadfoot
Speed Tickets Spell Jail for Liar
Professional liar Willy Savarise had the tables turned on him Friday night as he was cited by a state trooper on his way back from La Malfa. The ticket, which the officer said was for "following too close," makes number six for the Neighborhood bullshitter. Billy admits his advanced lying skills were useless against the determined trooper. "Looks like the foot's on the other hand now," said Mark Pucci, "Little Willy's bullshit has come back to haunt him." When asked, the Savarise family told Martinis that Billy learned his erratic driving from Duggie and said he will take care to maintain safe distance in the future. |
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