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Wedding Boycott
Mark, Rick Can't Get Out of 80s
Mark O says the only thing that could make him miss Karen's wedding is his buddy Ricky and their class reunion. Hey Mark, 1980 called, they want their hairdo back.
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Old Friends
Ange & Anna Make the Peace
Perry Nort's trip to Ashtabula paid off this week when he settled an age-old feud just before returning to the Citadel.
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Forgotten Orlando
Jani Reunites with Duggie and Judy
After fifteen years of not speaking to each other, Duggie, Judy, and Janice have decided to bury the hatchet this week. Friday, Jani lifted the silent treatment of her old buddies and said they'll be invited to the Michigan Nurses Guild bash at summer's end. The truce couldn't have come at a better time for Judy, who went into hiding after being accused of stealing the show at Janice's wedding back in the 80s. Sposito admits she might have gone a bit overboard with the washer and dryer gift, but claims she felt compelled to buy something extravagant because of rumors that Joe and Jeannette were buying the couple an RV. Flippo Duggie, when asked about the whole ordeal, said he thinks it's "about fucking time" and promises to throw another boat party on his new yacht, "The Snowman."
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Jennifer Saint
Laker Girl's Job Takes Her Closer to EX
Ever since Carl skipped town, many people have been wondering what happened to his other half. Fortunately, Martinis correspondent Sam Baker was able to gain an exclusive interview with the elusive Jennifer at the Tic-Toc Inn and reports that the Los Angeles Lakers are the first thing on her mind these days. St. Angelo said she was offered a job by the ball club a month ago and didn't think twice about it. "I made the whole team a batch of tarts," said Jen, "it's not every day that you get asked to be a Laker Girl, hee-hee-hee." Although she will be only ten miles from her ex-husband, Jennifer says it's just a coincidence that her new job is in LA and she has no intention of contacting swingin California Carl. |
Slap in the Face Grocers
Orlando Slapping Habit Leads to Lawsuit
If you've ever said "hi" to Joe Orlando or his son Mark, you've probably also gotten a slap in the head. For years, the trademark Orlando greeting of an unexpected slap has been used on just about everyone young and old. Recently, however, some innocent love taps in the store have caused some big problems for the Conneaut grocers. Sources tell Martinis that not too long ago a cashier received a slap right on the nose from Joe after a discrepancy about her drawer count. "They think they're in a Three Stooges episode," said Tony Sardine, top security man at Golden Dawn, "you can't pull that stuff anymore." The cashier said that it wasn't the first time anyone had been tricked by the stooge managers. "My first day on the job, Mark asked me what I had on my shirt," explained the girl, "I looked down and he nipped me right on the forehead." The cashier said all the slapping was just too much for her and has vowed to take legal action. Moe and Larry had no comment for Martinis on the issue. |
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