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Treehouse Turd
Koproski Admits to Fecal Faux Pas
Kerry Koproski confessed to shitting in the Neighborhood Hut this week, but claims it wasn't her turd that tore down the treasured treehouse.
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Nort Gamblers
Las Vegas or Bust
After some gala gambling in West Virginia, Ange & Gary will be headed for Vegas in September.
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Spuds & Duds
Potato Picnic Nutritious But Underpopulated
It was a starchy Sunday last week at Potatofest 2000, the Neighborhood's first all-potato picnic. As the sun beat down, family members piled their plates high with an amazing 23 varieties of potato dishes, including pickled potatoes and potato ice cream. Fed up with last year's bullshit, the Hill boycotted this year but didn't miss much action because everyone was in bed by six. Most of the action really happened over Joey's when Christina Saint threw a fit as she walked into a cloud and found Mike Valentic and Tony Orlando in the middle of it. Although festivities were held on the picnic grounds the 3rd and 4th, they were open strictly to the much talked about Harbor Avenue clique. "We're always an afterthought anyway," said Doody Savarise, "these last minute invites are a slap in the face anymore." In a closed interview with Carl Saint's dog, Riley, Mark Pucci and Roselle Orlando said they enjoyed the holidays but didn't understand why they couldn't have a conversation without a certain Harbor Avenue woman listening in. |
Out of the Frying Pan
Sam & Cindy Move Off Harbor Avenue
It seems Hare Lock & Key didn't quite do the trick changing the locks on the house after the burglary, because Sunny and Cher want a new one. Sam and Cindy have officially decided against building an addition onto Aunt Anna's house and have opted to give PAT a job gutting a place in Harbor Avenue Heights. Reports show Samcin will soon occupy the Bruno's old house, just two doors down from the family's old estate on East 22nd. "They're back in the circle," said Harbor Avenue Mayor Duggie Savarise, "but what the hell for?" The couple says the one-story house will be easier on Sam's flat feet and closer to their newly adopted son, Mark Orlando. "Besides," said Cindy, "our old house is perfect for RJ and his fiancée." A recent Neighborhood poll shows 98% of HAH residents would rather see Sam build himself a first-floor bedroom and stay where he is, with 2% saying they don't care as long as they don't have to put in a garden. |
Pucci Gone
Starving Writer Heads for Columbus
After a three and a half month sabbatical, Mark Pucci officially left the Neighborhood Saturday, but says his time meditating in Ohio is not quite up. Pat Jr claims he really needs to unwind after his backbreaking stay Down Under and will soon be shacking up at Relaxed Dave's Columbus palace so he can really take a break. |
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