The Jon Doviak Award for Rookie of the Year
::: Louie Mongenel :::> Weak ankle kept him out of pros; Swears vodka and cranberry juice is not woman's drink; Ray screwed them against Lake Catholic; Arrested by coach at Hirststock; Toilet on porch

Runners Up: 1. Julie Amascam, 2. Sarah Franaman
The Gary Cusman Comeback of the Year Award
This award denotes a return to the Neighborhood by an old favorite.

::: The Orb :::> Induces swearing; When stoned you ALMOST GOT IT! FUCK I FUCKIN HAD IT!!; Solved by Little Alex in 5 minutes

Runners Up: 1. Jenna B, 2. Jumpman Jr.
The Tony Orlando One-Night Stand Award
This award is dedicated to those who come out on a single evening to party until daylight with unbending vigor and contentment.

::: Billy and Donnie :::> Combine to form global superbullshitting power; Carded at cinemas; Cell numbers change weekly; Laid most of Kent
The Savarise Sports Business of the Year Award
This award is for class and atmosphere in a locale that is a Neighborhood draw.

::: Main Moon :::> Survived Chinese death blaze; Real hot sauce for special customers; Lunch buffet barred list includes Big John and Tom Saint; Everything ready in 10 minute

Runners Up: 1. Los See-Sawdres, 2. The Do-Drop Inn, 3. EAT's
The Angie Notarianni Award for Eyebrow
This award is presented for savvy in getting eyebrow and overall expertise in the adult entertainment industry.

::: Brad Orlando :::> Hung; Hard drive features unique "buried" directory structure; Assisted young hopefuls to stardom throughout the 1970s; Expert in Christy Canyon filmography
Runners Up: 1. Borat, 2. Tom St. Angelo Sr.
The Martinis Club Award for Longest No-See
::: Anthony :::> Classified mailing address; Likes speeding on interstates with giant cups of black coffee; First one out of bed in all time zones; Sleeps with putter; Looks a little like Cindy

Runners Up: 1. Stevie, 2. Mike Pucci
The Tom Sauce Up In Smoke Award
::: Scott Spence and RJ Valentic :::> Pussies; Cheech and Chong of the AACS; Think cellphone address books are flashy; Madigool ain't madicool; Both each other's boss

Runners Up: 1. Manda and Randa
The David Savarise Lifetime Achievement Award
This award covers a lifetime filled with accomplishment and excellence throughout the Neighborhood.

::: Al Guerini :::> Cooks outside regardless of season; Permanent grin livens up parties; Three driveways pretty neat; Eyeglass adjustment really secret signal to Jan; Supports the Court; Will give you a treat
Runners Up: 1. Skip, 2. Gary
The Madigool Cup MVP Award
This award signifies best overall achievement and excellence throughout the year 2004.

::: Mark "Redd" Truk :::> Celebrity on Dock radio frequencies; Gets piss drunk and quotes Cooter from Dukes of Hazzard; Into Kool & The Gang; Often rebuked due to unexpected nickname-surname combination
Runners Up: 1. RJ, 2. The Grettle, 3. Manda
Best Baby
::: Choochie Poochie :::> Extended sleeping patterns; Carbon copy of Mark; Severely confused about own name; Sometimes referred to as Doo-Doo Bear