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| Are you too interested in Harbor Avenue? Do you wanna know more about why Ange loves his Shandy so much? Well, your search is over. Welcome to Martini's, the greater Harbor Avenue area's official homepage! |
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Harbor Ave. Gamblers
(Ella's Garage)
Do you know them all?
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| Charlie St. Angelo |
| David Savarise |
| Bill Savarise |
| Al "Fox" Davenoe |
| Lou Tulino |
| Dave DeLuca |
| Jim Sardella |
| Robert Orlando Sr. |
| Hank Savarise |
| Sammo |
| Dave Meola |
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| Just relax now, like Dave says, and Martini'll buy you a drink. We got squids, PAT, and a lotttta bullshit! |
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WANTED - Clearasil Co. sues 70's sports store icons for robbing test patient from lab:
| Al "Fud" Guerini and Ronnie Eserevas (formerly Savarice) were indicted this week by Saybrook Vice Captains Bob Brobst and Harold T. Osten on charges of lewd behavior and inciting a riot during a birthday party out at The |
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| Lanes. Both former executives of the Savarise & Sons sporting goods empire, the two big shots hired a stripper to appear at the party and give a lap dance for Sam Saint, the birthday boy. Things turned ugly, however, when the stripper revealed a horrendous red boil on her ass that actually was the result of a laboratory test administered on the subject by the Clearasil Corporation. Clearasil has now brought charges against Fud and Ron claiming that the vulgar duo stole a test patient right out of their secluded laboratory in Orwell, Ohio. |
No Joke at Lanes - Harbor Ave. partyers reach limit:
| Harbor Avenue's self-proclaimed "partyers" Sam and Cindy arrived at their limit of fun and games Friday night as an innocent striptease caught them off guard. About one quarter of the way into her routine |
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| the stripper was asked to leave by Sam who then proceeded to give up his chair where the girl was doing her lapdance to brother Joe Saint who insisted that she stay. Sam, already infuriated by the magician act earlier on in the party, apparently was not in the surprise party mood. Worsening the incident, party organizer Miss Cindy, in tears because her precious party was foiled, was quick to blame St. A's staff members who were totally innocent. "I have my two sources," explained Cindy, "but I'm not revealing them." Whoever the two sources are (Michael & RJ), they apparently got their signals crossed. In a statement to Martini's, Saybrook Secret Service special agent Bobby O07 said, "If we were to disrupt a party, we would be more professional than to send a stripper with a boil on her ass!" |
Jay Vegas - Preparing for the return: Martini's Down Under is stocking up on booze and purchasing movies by the hundreds all in preparation for the return of the master Jay Vegas. The diabolical Vegas will be coming in hot next month just in time for Bobby's squid stuffing party at The Lanes. When asked for comment, Martini said that Jay's time Down Under will be characterized by late nights and boozin' it up every day of the week. Also, with all the unoriginal party organizing going on these days, Martini's Down Under will be challenging ANYONE who thinks they're ready to stick around til Martini and Jay go to bed during the upcoming holidays. |
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| Ange is still looking for the money Grampa St. Angelo buried behind the old house? |
| Mike Laurello worked with Fox? |
| The Crow and Relaxed Dave used to get fired from the store each week by Father Sam (and then get rehired every time by Uncle Carl)? |
| Grampa St. Angelo felt bad when Ange burned the old oven down? |
| Harbor Ave. has a long history of gambling? |
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| What collective noun did Father Sam use to refer to his family back in the 60's and 70's? |
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| If you think you can correctly identify the guy in a coma this pic, e-mail Martini and you could win a ticket to Bobby's squid stuffing party out at the bowling alley in December! |
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| Click here to see Joe Bellomo at the Blue Oyster!!! |
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